Saturday, June 03, 2006

late last

Late last night I made a decision that will drastically change my life.

Constantly feeling the weight of expectations and the pressure of perfection I realized that I don't try. Because if I don't try then failing is not an option. Quite a depressing realization but I know it is true.

Trying to change my habits, behaviors, and rituals has been my theme these past months. But my efforts have been ridiculously the same as they always have been. My intention is there and quite possibly things start to change....but, within days I fall back into my routine.

I want to wake up early, I want to cook more, I want to write more letters, I want to play tennis, I want to blog, I want to start making cards, I want to bike, I want to do yoga, I want t keep my apartment clean....all valid aspirations. But in my head I think, "I don't have enough time to do all that stuff."

Why not?

Because I am addicted to television.

When I stay up until 1 am watching TV, how am I going to get up early? If I have to watch TV during my lunch break how can I make a meal? If I have to watch TV on the weekend how can I go on a bike ride, write letters, do yoga, clean my apartment or make cards?

It is the black hole in my life. It is the root of my depression, inactivity, and lack of productivity. It is the reason I do not try.

So late last night I put the damn thing in storage.


Miss Scarlet said...

Good for you! I mean, I'm not going to do the same thing or anything but sounds like you've got a plan!

psquared said...

"There is not try, only do, or do not" - Yoda

Kate said...

I'm so proud of you Annie! :)

screw tv, go outside.

Scott said...

In storage? that is hard core,... good for you. I am damn impressed. Enjoy the bike!


Cheryl said...

Good for you. I wish I were strong enough to do that. Last week, I noticed that I really did not miss TV at all. But as soon as I was home, there it was again.

paigedewees said...

wow anne. i just got a card in the mail from you and i am so proud. i mean that is a huge and very noble step. probably necessary for a little while to re-discover all of those things. i can't wait to hear how it goes - i anticipate that you will be utterly liberated and refreshed and see the world new. good luck and thanks for the inspiration!

LadyKRAE said...

Wow Anne, that is the way to change your habits. I know all about habits too - losing weight takes alot of will power and determination. I will look at your step to changing your habits and think of you when I am going to eat something I should not! If Anne can do it.. so can I!


ben ingman said...

Good job Anne. Now you can stop paying for cable too eh?

TV = worthless time sucker/life destroyer

chanda said...

i'd say you deserve a postcard, anne.

H.Wood said...

Is there a 12-step program (preferably 3 or 4 steps) to help those of us in need of weaning from the TV addiction? – Found you by ways of Psquared and Everywhere Man.

Marissa said...

I'm RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! I stopped trying for a very long time this year all because I was terrified of failure. I'm finally beginning to try, and it's the scariest thing I've ever done.

Jayleigh said...

Wow. That is drastic, but if needed, a good choice. Good luck!