Friday, August 12, 2005

life in a box

Since Monday I have been in my pajamas.

After a whirlwind of a wedding weekend I decided to stay in Mankato to organize my "old" room.

Four days later I am still in my pajamas.

I have literally saved every note from middle school, every notebook from high school, and every last paper and assignment from college and graduate school.

I have shuffled through boxes and boxes of saved letters from camp, notes from by B/F/F/E's, and birthday cards. I read through my Hello Kitty grade school journals, and yes, they were locked (luckily I had saved the key).

All my crushes flashed through my head again.
All the drama of high school.
All the heartache.
All the questions about life.
All the goals.
All the insecurities.
All the sadness.
Everything. Flashed through my head again.

I have saved my entire life in boxes and for the past four days I watched myself grow up again.

I read letters that brought me to tears. Letters from my little brother when he was in first grade, letters from my Mom when she had a free minute at school, letters from my Dad sent to me during my weeks at camp...I still remember getting those letters. I read through hundreds of cards and little notes left by my college roommate Trisha (sometimes just saying, Good luck on your Biology test!). I read letters that made me remember what amazing friends I have from home. And then the notes to myself usually scribbled on scrapes of paper.

It wasn't just letters in those boxes, it was also my education. From British Literature, to Physics, to Social Psychology, to Interpersonal Communication, to Logic, to Photography and to Statistics I took one last look and then I recycled.

I can't keep everything forever. I saved things that I thought would make me happy in twenty years when I pull out my boxes again.

I don't know if I can really fit my life in a box but at least I tried.

8 comments:

Happy Mutant said...

A couple of months ago my sister went through all the old 3.5" floppy disks that were lying around my parents house. A bunch of the files were mine from high school and college. I asked her to send some of them to me. It was fun to read all the stuff I used to write about. My have times changed.

Cheryl said...

Yes, fitting your life into a box or even more than one box seems difficult and kind of odd too. It's hard to let go of that stuff sometimes, I know.

I think you've inspired me for the next time I go home, to look at that stuff, my yearbook and its messages, old notes, etc. Thanks for giving me something to look forward to doing.

Trisha said...

Anne,
I, too, have saved all the memories on paper from years ago. They are reminders of our journey to where we are today. I hope you enjoyed reliving your amazing existence. I am glad I was a part of it. Miss you lots.

Anne said...

Shakabuku---Oh wow, I haven't even begun to go through all the 3.5" floppy disks...for another day!

Cheryl---You are so welcome! I actaully really enjoyed going through everything again...because really what is the point of saving everything if you don't look at it again! Good luck next time you go home, have fun!

Trisha---Hi! Thanks T-dog :) So...I have been waiting, when are you going to start a blog?!

Christa said...

It sounds like a great journey you had over the past couple of days. It isn't always a bad thing to live in PJ's. If they weren't so damn comfortable...

I haven't saved too much, in fact while moving into my house I went through the things I kept over the years and decided to put it all back and not throw it yet. I have enough room for now to hold onto it and I may want to look back one more time down the road.

Jayleigh said...

I love reliving old times, but only once in a while. And like you, I keep things that will make me happy later, and kind of filter out the things that won't. Maybe there's enough sadness in life that we don't need to remember the stuff that's gone on before.

**hugs** You're just too sweet, always.

still_figuring_out said...

took a walk down memory lane, huh?
:)

Anne said...

Thanks everyone for the comments.

Going through all my saved memories was crazy and I sometimes wish I could just chuck everything out the window...but I am way to sentimental...in time though (like you said Jayleigh) it will all filter out...Thanks again!